A 'Bloggers' Shift of Focus

I have given so much thought to things lately.  Have you ever wondered WOW, how did I end up here??  I guess that is what I have been doing lately, searching for what drives me but always coming up empty.  Sure I have plenty to be thankful for, but I also have plenty to wonder WHY ME!?!  I'm sure we all have those days, but for some reason, I think I'm throwing in the towel, I can't fight life anymore!  I'm at a crossroads do stand up and face life head on, or do I lay down and let it run over me like an 18-wheeler?  Its been some time since I posted so I figure I should give you a quick run down on how things have been here, of course in true bullet form (God knows I love a list).

• My journey to God has been spinning in circles, yes I trust in the LORD with everything I have but when he makes life so chaotic I find it hard to focus on him.
• My 6 year old son, LoLo is autistic, he had been doing really well!!  Lately he is combative, disruptive, and falling behind in school on the 3rd week!  Yes he's verbal and I'm so thankful for that, plus he's in a regular classroom!  However, he isn't getting services anymore like he should and that will STOP soon, even if this momma bear has to go postal on someone.
• My 3 year old son, Booger, has been formally diagnosed as ADHD (the most severe form) and takes Ritalin 3 times a day, yes 3 small doses, don't judge me, if your son was tearing apart the walls and peeing on everything you would medicate too, not to mention clawing people face's!!
• My husband, Big B, has been promoted at work, thanks for him finally treating his ADD again!  I'm in a world of special little brains in my home, I often wonder if I'm the normal brain or if they are?
• I opened my own business!!  Had great success, then closed my own business which we will get to on the reason why.
• I lost and gained and lost and gained about 25 pounds in the course of a year!  Again reason to come!
• Here come the zingers!  On April 2, 2012 I had a partial hysterectomy!  I was 29 years old, I really thought I wanted it just as much as I needed it, but then BAM I realized no more babies, it was final the big family I always dreamed of would never happen.   This is one reason for all the weight gain!
• I started Advocare, it was a miracle, but a very expensive miracle!!  This is the reason for my weight loss, and then more weight gain!
• On August 28,2013 I was at my regular check-up at the lady doctor and she found the dreaded lump!  Mind you this was only a month ago!  Since then I went through a series of test I have had a mammogram, MRI, Ultrasound, trip to MD Anderson the best cancer hospital ever, another mammogram, another ultrasound and 14!!! core needle biopsies and FNA biopsies.  I found out a few days ago that it was not cancerous!!!  I have a large radial scar, which I'm apparently too young for at the ripe old age of 30!  The reason I closed my business is so I could focus on all this!
•   I may still have to have surgery to have this radial scar, which really isn't even a scar, removed.  Apparently if they didn't get good biopsies of the back side of the scar or center then there is a chance it could still be cancer.  I haven't told my family all that!  Lets just let my momma think its all peaches and creams right now. 

As you can see, with all this I find myself questioning so much, and they tell me I need less stress!  Seriously I would have to run away and live my days on an island complete with Dr. Pepper on tap and enough fast food restaurants to cater to my specific needs at any moment!  A woman can dream right??  So what do I do?  I don't know anymore, get down on my knees and pray?  Pray for what, where do I start, how do I know he's listening??  How can I be so strong for everyone else, and still motivate myself??  I guess all I can do is wake up tomorrow and try again, and again.  Diet and exercise is what the doctor said, in fact a special anti-cancer diet is my new destiny and trying to fit in the time for a few workouts, oh and I'm now a cub scout den leader!!  Not sure how I ended up on that one either.  So if anyone out there reads this, HELP!  How do I keep going??

Advocare...My Weight Loss Savior

On April 7th I started my journey again with weight loss at 169 pounds!  I weighed in just days before at 170 pounds!!!  I know to some this might not seem like much, but I delivered both my boys at 171 pounds!  I assure you I am NOT pregnant, which is why I was seriously FREAKED OUT!

I decided it was time for change, so I ordered the Advocare 24 day challenge.  There is only about 5 people that know I was on Advocare, if it didn't work no one would know I failed!  Yeah right, I kicked butt and I ate sushi!  In 24 days I lost 7 pounds and 12.5 inches!!!!!!  Holy crap it works!!!!

This morning I weighed in again and to my surprise (serious serious surprise) I weighed in at a 158 pounds!!  Let me save you the math, that is 12 pounds in a little over a month!  I am sold and can't wait to see my family on Father's Day to show off my weight loss.  I haven't seen my parents since Easter and my brother's family since Christmas, so I'm praying that we are all together again! 

I will update my Advocare journey weekly!  I'm sold, I'm a believer, my prayers were answered with this system it works for me!  I hope to update photos of food that I eat while on this and of course update my weight loss.  Motivation from others is the best way to keep going even when the scale doesn't move!

Southern Gal Paper Crafts is Born

It is no secret that life can be hectic for anyone!  However, after six years at home I needed a hobby!!  I have always had this weird, borderline obsessive, love for paper.  Seriously, no joke I had color coded notebook paper in college!  I loved to scrapbook but just didn't have the desire to sit down and create album after album.  Then came homeroom mom time, to my surprise I was fairly good at the crafting thing.  I bought a die cutting machine in efforts to make a pirate banner for my son's party because I couldn't find one I liked, and then my new hobby was born!
Southern Gal isn't about the profits, it is about the chance for me to create something someone else will love and personable for their party.  I make invitations, banners, centerpieces, cake toppers, cupcake toppers, door hangers, and pretty much anything you need for a party could be shipped to you!  I've gained some following over the last couple of months and I'm pleased to say that it is exactly what I hoped it would be.  Enough to keep my extra time a little busy and not busy enough that it takes away from my family or housework.  I LOVE IT!!  Here are some examples of what Southern Gal is all about!  If you want to order visit my page on Facebook here or my Etsy shop.



Custom Order Safari Banner $20.00

Custom Order Monkey Banner $20.00

Mickey Mouse Banner $25.00

Fabric 'Rag' Dr. Seuss Banner $30.00



Pirate banner $25.00



 

WOW...It's Been A While!!

Hello to all!!  I had taken a 'break' from blogging because I thought what is the use?  I thought I didn't have readers, well apparently I DO!  So I might give this blogging thing a whirl...again.  So much has happened this year so here is a quick run down to get everyone caught up!

My son is almost done with kindergarten!!!!!  Having a son with autism is tough, I can't tell you how blessed I am to have a high functioning son who loves school now!  Yes, we did medicate, that is our choice and doesn't work for everyone.  It was through much prayer that we felt the need that his mental well being was more important!  Let's face it when your baby ask you if life would be easier without him, you know it is time!!  He is so happy now and really is a completely different kid!  I thank, no we all thank GOD everyday for the JOY he has brought our son!

My baby is still completely WILD...but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Except maybe I shouldn't call him my baby anymore since he will be 4 this year!!

I survived homeroom mom!!  I will create a post showing off all our projects! 

I'm still losing weight and struggling at it!  I have recently discovered Advocare!!  It is changing my weight loss goals into something achievable.  More on this to come too!!

Oh my the biggie!! I started my own business!!!!!  Southern Gal Paper Crafts went from being a dream to a reality!!  More on this to come as well! 

Some things to look forward to on my blog resurfacing.  Advocare and my journey in weight loss, homeroom mom projects, Southern Gal products and giveaways, house projects before and after, and most important my main purpose here.  Being the most awesome, modest, strong, young (shhh...I'm not 31, yet!) housewife I can be! 

NEVER FORGET~~WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES US STRENGTH!!!!!

30 is coming...

My 30th birthday is vastly approaching.  Two months almost to the day and I'll have left my 20's!  I'm not sure why but this scares the pants off me!  I'm not going to lie it is terrifying, I wonder can I still call my mom crying when something goes wrong?  I'm I too old now for certain things? 

Life isn't what I dreamt of all those years ago.  My husband doesn't look like a half naked cowboy with muscles for days like imagined, although he did buy his first cowboy hat the other day!  I don't live out in the country with my seven kids either.  Before the thought crosses your mind, no I didn't have a litter.  God did bless me with two wonderful boys that are just as wild as seven little ones!

I've decided for me it is time to be a little selfish.  I have to put forth the effort on some things that I have hidden in the depths of my soul that need to be laid to rest once and for all. 

I can't go into my 30's with the bondage of my past haunting me at every turn.  I have to live with it everyday and I have to learn that my past doesn't define me. 

My husband put it best, God forgives me now I just have to forgive myself!

I've set some pretty clear goals for myself for the next couple of months!
~ Finish a much needed bible study
~ Finish the Insanity workout
~ Finish organizing some things around the house
~ Get more time in with my kiddos
~ Be a size 6 by my 30th birthday
~ Learn not to dwell on the past, I have to move on as hard as it may be!

The most important thing is, I want to turn 30 knowing I accomplished my biggest goal of all!  I want to be proud of who I am and what HE has made me!  I will turn 30 and feel the love of Christ before all others, and that has to be the most profound thing in my life to date.

My Approach to Homemaking

One can scour the Internet for days visiting blogs on homemaking!  I think in an essence we are all in search of the same thing, 'how does she do it?'  I'm guilty as charged, I love to see how others make the day go by, probably because I have this intense need to figure out a better way and maybe a little curiosity as to what someone elses world is like.  (Does that contradict itself?, oh well you get what I mean!)  I've taken the time to hone my homemaking skills, theoretically, but lacked in driving it into home every time!  I simply fall short, I try this for a while and then that, but nothing seems to stick!  Maybe it is a lack of desire or my impatient brain wanting everything done right away.  Then when things don't get done, I'm blowing my top and give up!  Maybe I just need more caffeine...hmmm, food for thought. 

Any who, my approach to homemaking is simple, TREAT IT LIKE A J-O-B!!  You know one of those things that sends out a paycheck from time to time.  Most of our husbands have one, so why shouldn't we?  My house is my job, my kids are my blessings!  You can't get that confused, once you think of your kids as a job all sorts of things could go wrong. 

Like any job one has a job title and responsibilities, right...
So what would a housewives job title be that isn't just plain housewife...you don't always want to get one those comments all the time.  You know the, 'OH you stay HOME all Day!' comments.  I like to think of myself as a Domestic Engineer!  Has a nice ring to it huh? 

Lets see job title, check!  Now on to job responsibilities (insert chuckle here)!  The amount of personal jobs we have is enormous and probably surpasses the hours we have to get them all done in a day.  WRONG!  Lets be honest none of us are perfect!  We can't get it all done because we set our own expectations too high!  We seek to be like the Proverbs 31 woman, but HELLO she is just an example.  God knows we can't get this all done, literally.  So lets make things a little more simple, then add in the extras when we get the time.

Simple Jobs of the Domestic Engineer:
1. Don't burn down the house, key factor can't be a housewife if you burn down the house!
2. Provide food for household members, no extras just the person you are married to and the kids!
3. Wash underwear and towels daily, bad things happen when your husband runs out of clean undies and doesn't have a towel to dry off with :-)

See simple...everything else you get done in the day is a bonus!  I know what your thinking, 'OH LAWD her house is a mess!'  Well today it is but usually it is not!  I somehow manage to find the time to get a few other things done. 

My point is don't focus on what you can't get done, focus on what you can!! We are our own worse enemies and the only person who is going to get upset the most if nothing gets done is us! 

Now go be great domestic engineers!

Confessions of a Sinner

I'm not perfect, but then again what Christian is?
I have sinned just like everyone else on this Earth!  I am thankful that Jesus died on the cross for my sins!  I am blessed by Him and the Father, able to be forgiven for my sins!!  For the select few that might read this...these are a few things that I have to remind myself it is OKAY to mess up sometimes, as long as I come to Him in the most humble way possible and confess my sins!

I struggle with Christianity more than Vanity...sometimes my appearance to others is more important than my appearance to HIM!

My children don't have the mother they deserve...my anger catapults me to place no woman should be and the verbal garbage that spews from my mouth can be horrific.

My husband is left picking up the pieces all to often...he is my strength, he is hard to love, and he is my weakness all in one. 

My home does not reflect the image I want people to perceive...in other words it is more of a mess than a hand reaching out and welcoming people.

My feet are dirty...I have stepped on others to achieve what I thought I deserved and not what HE thought I deserved.

I have a jealous heart...I constantly compare myself to others, and think 'why not me?'

I hold myself less accountable than I do others...I am the 'teapot calling the kettle black' as they say in the south.

My arms are very short at times...I don't reach out to help others as much as I should.

My cardboard confession would do something like this...
"I am stubborn, strong-willed, and bitter"
"by the Grace of God I am FORGIVEN!"

God has called me aside to focus on myself, and how I need to be disciplined to be a better person.  No I don't feel like I'm in time out, I feel like I have been called to enjoy life more and He is sharing his wisdom with me to become more!